A Promise to Keep

I tried to focus on the faces of my friends. I blinked so hard and fast that it was difficult to see, but it didn't help. The tears still came. I can't do this. I thought. I can't say goodbye. My world blurred.

Don't cry. I told myself. But I couldn't help it. This was tearing me apart. My friends. These are my best friends in the whole world... and they're waiting to say goodbye.

Still I looked at the faces. Each one was familiar and well loved. We had spent time together, shared experiences, hardships, and memories.

Memories. Just the word seemed to bring back a thousand. Little things. The sound of Eli's laugh. Neil's face when we “scared” him on our trip. Hide and seek. Passing notes. Praying together.

They stood around me in a semicircle, and my gaze traveled their faces, trying to memorize each one before it was too late, to express the inexpressible.   Trying to capture the moment before it would be gone forever. Neil stood next to his brother Nathan as always, his dark hair casting an even darker shadow across his face. Next to them stood Eli, his usually happy face was solemn. There was no joy – nothing to joke about today.  My gaze passed over Kaya, Addy, and Katie, landing on Alyssa.

Alyssa. I could no longer hold it in. My sorrow spilled over and my tears turned into wracking sobs. How can I leave Alyssa – my very best friend? She was always here for me. Who would be now?

A pair of gentle arms wrapped around me. I knew it was one of Alyssa's famous hugs. I had received many, but none like this.

“It's okay.” She said, but I could tell. She was crying too.

I took a deep breath as I struggled to stop my crying. My whole body shook as I melted into her embrace. It is probably my last. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out the sorrowful faces. Soon this would all be gone, blown away with the wind of time. No! I refused to believe it.

“I know this seems like goodbye forever,” I said, drawing a ragged breath and strengthened my voice. “But I promise you it is not.” I opened my eyes.

There stood Nathan. Just the same as always: sandy brown hair, brown eyes... But his eyes were full of pain, and they searched me. I became afraid. Everything in me wanted to look away, run and hide, but I could not. I was trapped in his gaze. Trapped in the fear that I wouldn't see him again – that my promise...was a lie.

But it couldn't be a lie. He was holding onto my promise just as much as  I was. Hoping that I would come back. Trusting that this wasn't really goodbye.

He wanted me to stay.

I had never felt this before. The meaning of his gaze and responsibility of my promise hung over me. I gave Alyssa one last squeeze, then we parted. I climbed into the car where my parents were waiting and pressed against the window, watching them. Knowing this last glimpse would be one that was cherished forever. And I knew part of my heart was staying with those people. With Alyssa. With Nathan. With the promise I knew I couldn't keep.

~ Harper

Words (part 2)

“This, Kay, is the key to your words.”  He turned to the audience.  “We'll give Kay two minutes.”

“No! This is not what we agreed to!” It was Jock.

Screens lit up around the room as Wake hit buttons on the key.  

2:00

My time had started. I had only two minutes for the rest of my life's words! My breath came in short gasps as I stared at Jock. His face was contorted in anger.

“Agreements are not promises, Jock. They are subject to change.” Wake's voice was crisp and clean. It held a tone of accomplishment.

“NO!” Jock whirled away, then turned back just as fast, grabbing for the key.

Wake stepped away unperturbed. “Guards!”

I couldn't take it anymore. “Stop.” My voice was an unfamiliar whisper, but it worked. They stopped.

I turned to the crowd. My heart was thumping so hard, I thought I would fall over from its pounding. But I had made up my mind. They can’t take my words away because there won’t be any left by the time they get the chance.

I looked at the clock.

1:45

“I have an opinion.” I lingered on the forbidden word; it strengthened my confidence from its source of truth.  I took a deep breath. “Our words are being stolen from us.” I gave a shaky smile.

1:34

“We common people have a dwindling supply of words, but look at Rollin. He has words to squander on meaningless speech.  I do not. My words will be gone in 70 seconds.”

That reality sunk in.

“They want this.” I gestured to Rollin. “When words are limited they become valuable. This value tricks us into thinking that no one will listen, so we don't speak. We dislike what they are doing, yet we say nothing but wasteful words to our friends.”

I paused to take a breath and collect my thoughts. The audience stirred.

0:59

“How can we cure this? We need people to speak. When they do we must listen and evaluate. Then we must act. So that this does not recur. If no one will speak it will recur and one day speech will be a foreign thing. This is not what Mallowlea is; it is what it will become. ”

I waited for a response, but it was quiet.  No one moved.  I began to cry.

“Please.” The tears ran down my cheeks.

0:17

I was at a loss of words. The people had not responded to my message, but I had only four words left anyway.  I turned to leave the stage, unwilling to face further humiliation, but a rough hand caught my arm.

“Marvelous, darling, marvelous. When you began your speech I thought I might reconsider, but your defiant words have stolen that opportunity.” Wake smirked.

I struggled, then stopped. It was no use; I was too weary to try.

“Kay!” It was Jock.

0:05

Four words.

“Jock, please --” My words were cut short. I looked at the clock.

0:02

I tried again.

Nothing.

“No.” Jocks cry blurred in my mind.

I clasped my throat, searching for the words that should be there. It didn't make sense. They were gone.

My knees began to give way, and I closed my eyes. I'm so tired.

A pair of strong arms picked me up. “I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.” I recognized Jock's voice, but strained and muffled, as if he was crying.

Then I heard a voice. One that was unfamiliar. It said “Words. Words.” Then another one joined in. And another.

And the swell of voices put me to sleep.      

My favorite sound is voices.  I never truly understood the strength and meaning of words until I lost everything that night.  There is so much freedom in speech; I do not have to type my conversations to save words anymore.  I can look into Livia’s eyes and tell her things; she can answer me.  A voice can comfort; it can rejoice; it can encourage; it can speak out and change the world.  I know this because I lived my story, and I spoke my opinion.  A few words changed my world, and because of that my life will never be the same.

~Harper

Words

From here on out I will post things that I have written or story ideas.  Feel free to comment or critique, but most of all enjoy!

Words

I'm going to use three words tonight.

Livia's words popped onto the screen.

I stared at Livia, not sure how to respond. No one used their words – especially Livia. She was the most frugal person that I knew. I typed back:

What for?

Love.

I frowned. Many people saved their words for love, but I knew Livia. Her words were worth more.

Why not use them to make a difference?

I was given The Stare – then a response.

Because no one listens to opinionated stuff, Kay. My words are too valuable to be ignored.

Opinionated. That was me all right. But to be labeled... was serious. I didn't expect it from Livia. I bit my lip.

She must have seen my hurt, for she typed again.

Kay, just tone it down a bit. You can get in trouble for talking about Wake like that.

I can't stop. It's all I think about.

The truth was out.  I knew I could get in trouble, but the words were my burden. Something that needed to be said.

She met my gaze for a moment, but it was a hollow, distant look.

What about Jock?

I smiled. She's got me there.

Yeah, I've thought about him. Especially since he won't tell me where we're going tonight! Speaking of which, I should go get ready.

Livia gave me a reassuring smile.

Yeah, have fun!

Jock had told me that we were going somewhere special that I should dress up for, but he never could have prepared me for the night. The lights were so dazzling that I had to keep refocusing my attention to the sights and people around me. I nearly ran a server over, for lack of paying attention. When I hopped backward to avoid the collision, he looked up startled, then gave his head a little shake.

“I beg your pardon, Miss.” He said, then disappeared into the crowd.

I was greatly flustered. After a few minutes I realized why. He spoke.

My mind began to swim. Why would a server apologize out loud? Did his words have no value? It made me nervous.

My next realization made me jump.

Voices.

There were so many of them. And as I looked around my revelation was affirmed. They were talking. Everyone was.

My mind seemed to scream warnings at me. This was so wrong! Not a single person that I knew talked freely. Everything in me wanted to tell them:  “Save your words!”

“Kay.”  A voice interrupted me, and I whirled around to face Jock.  He studied my face for a moment. Lines of concern creased his face.  “Are you okay?”

He only scared me more, but there was no where to go.  I mouthed the words:  Why are you talking?

A grin lit his face, and he shook his head. “Kay, you can talk here.  It's okay.”

My face went blank. This isn't right. I shook my head. No. I want to leave.

But there was no where to go. The quiet serenade turned into a booming fanfare, and lights focused on a stage that I hadn't noticed before. There before me stood Rollin Wake, the most prominent political leader in Mallowlea.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” He said. “It is my honor to be here before you tonight, and also to award one of you for your words.”

He reached into his pocket and withdrew a card, held it up to the light, then pronounced with a flourish : “The lady who will be joining me up here this evening is...”

I looked up at Jock, but his eyes held an uneasy look and he refused to return my gaze.

“...Kaylaraa Grey.”

It took me a moment before I even recognized my own name. Even then it didn't seem real. I was being called up on stage not only in front of a live audience of renowned people, but onto the light screens of every home where this event was being watched. And I was being called up for my words.

Somehow I got to the stage, where the lights drowned out all the color and faces. Where I was in the spotlight. Rollin was at the edge of the stage waiting for me. He escorted me to the center of the stage.

“This young lady has been selected to speak to you tonight because of the opinions she places in her words.” His voice rang throughout the hall.

I was so scared.  Opinions!  Livia warned me!  My gaze searched for Jock, but I couldn't find him in the silhouettes of bodies. They want me to speak! I didn't know what to say.

“How have you been, Miss Kay?”

I faced Wake, forcing a smile on my face and nodding my head respectfully.

His eyes narrowed, and a grin glided onto his pinched face. “How have you enjoyed your evening, Kaylaraa?”

Again I felt a nod and smile were sufficient.

Rollin Wake did not.

Wake faced the audience. “It seems to me that Kaylaraa is refusing to answer my questions.” He faced me again. “Are you words too precious, dear?”

So that is what they wanted me for. To mock me.

My smile adapted to a line of determination.

Again Wake faced the audience. “I think if Kaylaraa will not grace us with her words, we should not grace her with any either.” He paused, then smiled. “Jock, bring me the key please.”

My mind whirled. “We should not grace her with any...” The words echoed in my mind.  What was happening? I only had 147 words left….

“Here it is, Sir.”

It was Jock. My eyes widened.  What’s going on?

He refused to meet my gaze.

Wake looked from me to Jock. “Kaylaraa, you didn't know, did you? You didn't know that your dear Jock was out to take your words?  Every word that you spoke to Jock was one word less that you used on your opinions.”

I scowled, but Wake didn't notice. Jock! My mind cried out to him. What are you doing?

“Let's see here.” Wake's voice filled the hall again as he fingered the key. “Kay, do you have any idea what this is?”  He held up a black, hand sized device that had a few small buttons on it.  

I shook my head.  I had no idea, but the look of it made me feel sick.

“This, Kay, is the key to your words.”

Part two is coming next week!

~Harper

Introduction

Well, it was a good run. There were highlights and there were low lights, but it all ends the same I guess. Time and Life. Reality. Or maybe some perversion of it. But they say reality is perception, so I have no choice but to digress. But two forces are rarely totally parallel. So why pretend? Perpendicularity will set in, and fortitude is tested by space alone. It couldn't have happened any other way, really. Not like this. So thanks for some good memories and bye. That is my parting wisdom. Think it through. And maybe, just maybe, three roads will cross.

I have read this paragraph so many times that I can recite it. I did not write this, a friend of mine did. This was their goodbye to me. A goodbye that I will never forget. But there is still a mystery that I am not sure I can solve.

Three roads. What does that mean? I would take it to mean my friend and I, but then who or what is the third road? Maybe the message holds the answer: time, life, reality.

This is one thing I may never know, but one thing I do know is that I will never forget this friend or the memories we made together. May three roads cross!

~Harper